Happy New Year! May you have an amazing year…one filled with joy, good health, love and prosperity! 📅🎉
Well, a new decade is upon us and I have neglected updating my blog/website. The fact is, I just haven’t had much time to do so…until now.
I initially hesitated writing this post because I thought I’d be perceived as complaining. Recently, three people I know advised me that I should share more of my experiences here because I could perhaps help someone; maybe they’re also going through something similar. You see, in July 2015, my life was ‘turned upside down’ when my parents and brother each dealt with their own health crisis. At the time, I was two semesters away from completing my university studies. Thankfully, in May 2016, I completed my Bachelor’s degree in Communication Studies as scheduled and believed I would find my ‘dream’ career, and that my parents and brother would be healthy again. Sadly, none of that happened. 😟
Applying for multiple jobs quickly became a ‘full-time’ job. Then came the numerous rejection emails I received for these jobs, which then became very taxing. I didn’t know what my next step would be. Since I wasn’t getting hired, the dutiful daughter and sister in me stepped in and became their caregiver. Honestly, I had NO idea what to expect in my new role. There were some days I’d find myself taking my brother to an appointment in the morning and then taking my father to his appointment in the afternoon. Add in running errands for them and then alternating between my father and brother in taking them grocery shopping because 1) it gives them personal autonomy and 2) it also gives them an opportunity to get out of the house for a bit. However, the going back and forth has made me feel like a ping pong ball and has worn me out. 😣
I’m extremely close to my parents and older brother, and I’ll do just about anything for them. But there have been several occasions where I just can’t keep up with everything because I’m tired–tired to the point that my own ‘to do’ lists never get done. 😔 Sometimes I don’t think they realize that I need MY own time and space to recharge, and to take care of myself. For four years now, I’ve placed my life on hold so I can be available to them. However, trying to juggle my own needs and problems (yes, we all have them), well, it’s taken a toll on me…emotionally, mentally and physically. I try to find time for myself, such as going for a walk or treating myself to something I enjoy doing, but it can be difficult sometimes. This reminds me of the quote by Eleanor Brownn, “Self-care is not selfish. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.” It’s also difficult asking my older sister for help because she work full-time. If I let her know ahead of time, she can usually take my father or brother to their appointments. I’ll continue to ask my sister for assistance in the hopes that I can take more breaks. Another solution is having someone else come in and help my parents and brother a few times a week for a few hours. This will give me some respite so I can pursue other things.
I’m constantly thinking about the goals I haven’t accomplished. In 2020, I plan to develop more content and work on some writing projects, which I’ve had to put off. I pray this new decade will provide me with new opportunities (yes, a career is still at the top of my list) so that I don’t have to worry (much) about my future. ✍🏽
I’m grateful that my parents and brother are doing fine right now (thank goodness). 🙏🏽 They know I’ll always be there for them. But from this day forward, I need to put myself first and work on the life I was intended for.
These two quotes will be my constant reminder to live MY life and to take care of myself.
A classic song to welcome 2020. 🎩🙂