Remembering My Grandma

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Your strength, courage and perseverance is what pushed you to emigrate to this country.

Raising six children alone was not easy. πŸ‘§πŸ½πŸ‘¦πŸ½πŸ‘§πŸ½πŸ‘¦πŸ½πŸ‘§πŸ½πŸ‘¦πŸ½

The sacrifices you made and the risks you took to give them and your grandchildren a better life did not go unseen.

I will be forever indebted to you for what you did for all of us: to provide a better, enriching life. Β πŸ™πŸ½β€οΈ

I take pride in having known you for just a short time.

But it was in that short time that I discovered your strength, determination, hard work and never giving up are all traits you have passed down to me.

I will continue to push towards achieving my goals and dreams, and will always look above to say “thank you” for being a part of my life and for guiding me in to who I am today. πŸ™‚

Goodbye 2019. Welcome 2020!

 

Happy New Year! May you have an amazing year…one filled with joy, good health, love and prosperity! πŸ“…πŸŽ‰

Well, a new decade is upon us and I have neglected updating my blog/website. The fact is, I just haven’t had much time to do so…until now.

I initially hesitated writing this post because I thought I’d be perceived as complaining. Recently, three people I know advised me that I should share more of my experiences here because I could perhaps help someone; maybe they’re also going through something similar. You see, in July 2015, my life was ‘turned upside down’ when my parents and brother each dealt with their own health crisis. At the time, I was two semesters away from completing my university studies. Thankfully, in May 2016, I completed my Bachelor’s degree in Communication Studies as scheduled and believed I would find my ‘dream’ career, and that my parents and brother would be healthy again. Sadly, none of that happened. 😟

 

Applying for multiple jobs quickly became a ‘full-time’ job. Then came the numerous rejection emails I received for these jobs, which then became very taxing. I didn’t know what my next step would be. Since I wasn’t getting hired, the dutiful daughter and sister in me stepped in and became their caregiver. Honestly, I had NO idea what to expect in my new role. There were some days I’d find myself taking my brother to an appointment in the morning and then taking my father to his appointment in the afternoon. Add in running errands for them and then alternating between my father and brother in taking them grocery shopping because 1) it gives them personal autonomy and 2) it also gives them an opportunity to get out of the house for a bit. However, the going back and forth has made me feel like a ping pong ball and has worn me out. 😣

I’m extremely close to my parents and older brother, and I’ll do just about anything for them. But there have been several occasions where I just can’t keep up with everything because I’m tired–tired to the point that my own β€˜to do’ lists never get done. πŸ˜” Sometimes I don’t think they realize that I need MY own time and space to recharge, and to take care of myself. For four years now, I’ve placed my life on hold so I can be available to them. However, trying to juggle my own needs and problems (yes, we all have them), well, it’s taken a toll on me…emotionally, mentally and physically. I try to find time for myself, such as going for a walk or treating myself to something I enjoy doing, but it can be difficult sometimes. This reminds me of the quote by Eleanor Brownn, “Self-care is not selfish. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.” It’s also difficult asking my older sister for help because she work full-time. If I let her know ahead of time, she can usually take my father or brother to their appointments. I’ll continue to ask my sister for assistance in the hopes that I can take more breaks. Another solution is having someone else come in and help my parents and brother a few times a week for a few hours. This will give me some respite so I can pursue other things.

I’m constantly thinking about the goals I haven’t accomplished. In 2020, I plan to develop more content and work on some writing projects, which I’ve had to put off. I pray this new decade will provide me with new opportunities (yes, a career is still at the top of my list) so that I don’t have to worry (much) about my future. ✍🏽

I’m grateful that my parents and brother are doing fine right now (thank goodness). πŸ™πŸ½ They know I’ll always be there for them. But from this day forward, I need to put myself first and work on the life I was intended for.

These two quotes will be my constant reminder to live MY life and to take care of myself.

 

 

 

A classic song to welcome 2020. πŸŽ©πŸ™‚

Welcoming 2019

In perspective, 2018 seemed somewhat tame compared to 2015, which is when I stepped in to help my parents and brother, who all became ill that same year. It’s been tough, not only for them, but for myself. I’ve had numerous challenges come my way and I am still learning. Fast forward to the present, they are fine at the moment, but only God knows what will happen in the future. I’m trying my best not to worry when it concerns them, but–as with most families–you sometimes can’t help it. πŸ€” At this point, all I can do is just take it one day at a time and not dwell on what could happen.

For the last three-plus years or so, one of my best friends (“C”), who I’ve known since fifth grade, has been encouraging me to start writing again. I’ve hesitated to pick up my pen and paper to do just that because I’ve been going through my own personal challenges, as well as keeping busy with helping my family.Β For the most part, I felt unaccomplished for much of 2018.Β πŸ˜” I also know that I’ve always placed a lot on pressure on myself into setting goals and completing them. However, I didn’t complete any of my goals for lack of motivation and because I became discouraged. It wasn’t until I read an article written by a friend, where she briefly discussed her upbringing, the genre of writing she got into and the television pioneer, whose own life inspired her to follow her dream of becoming an entertainment writer and reporter based in Los Angeles. She has inspired me to seek out new opportunities, as did my brother, who has encouraged me to carve my own niche and write about things around me. In 2019, I intend to seek out more adventures and write about them. I may not be taking that once-in-a-lifetime trip to Europe just yet, but I can find other things or places to discuss and share with readers.

In 2018, I took small steps into practicing self-care. As a caregiver, you tend to forget about yourself because you’re always taking care of others. Well, in 2019, I intend to do the opposite. I will still be there for my family, but I will also be putting myself first when it comes to working on tasks that are of importance to me.

On a sad note, 2018 ended with the deaths of two people, who were part of my extended family: my cousin’s husband–who I had known since I was an infant–and my other best friend’s (“I”) father, who was a good friend of my parents’ and who I had known since I was three-years-old. This will be a somber week, but both families are strong and they have the support of one another, including their friends.

Intending you have a joyous New Year, one filled with great health, happiness, love and prosperity. πŸ“† 🀞🏼

Challenges

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When you are having one of those days when nothing is going right and you are trying to stay positive despite certain challenges. I pray and continue to ask for guidance, but sometimes I feel like my prayers are not being answered. πŸ˜«πŸ™πŸ˜­

All I can do now is to keep praying and to continue asking for guidance and strength. πŸ™πŸ½β€οΈ

Goodbye, 2017. Hello, 2018!

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Well, it’s time to say goodbye to another year. 2017 was a year of learning, growing and chaos. Β It started off alright…until September and October arrived. 😩 I certainly do NOT wish to see a repeat of what happened this year happen in 2018.

As for the new year, I have one major wish: To have God watch over my family–especially my parents’ and brother’s health. Β β€οΈπŸ™πŸ½πŸ’™

One thing I will no longer worry about is going out of my way to communicate with someone, who doesn’t reciprocate the communication nor the friendship. Friendship is a two-way street, which means I don’t have time for clique-like or short-term friendships. πŸ‘‹πŸ½Β πŸ™„

Finally, in 2018, I will focus on myself. The last 2+ years have been really stressful and taxing–especially on me. As a result, I intend to take more time out for myself and will work on completing a few goals on my bucket list. πŸ™πŸ½πŸ˜ƒ

Everything Happens For A Reason

If I could sum up my life in one word over the past year or so, it’d be stressful. 😫 Only a few people close to me know what I’ve been going through. After having returned from a short vacation (which I’ll be blogging about soon)–which was to help me de-stress from what I’ve been doing for the past two years–I received some bad news that came to me as a total surprise, yet I also believe it was disguised as a blessing.

This quote sums up how I feel and the intention of what is yet to come. πŸ™πŸ½πŸ™‚